My Secret Admirer
by I-Am-Justice
Summary: When a box of chocolates is left in front of Mello's door with a puzzle of a note hidden inside, it suddenly becomes a mystery to figure out just who this secret admirer of his is. MxN. Please r&r. Rated for language and possible future lemon
1. The Secret Admirer

A/N: Um…hello. This is my first fanfic ever…so please bear with me if my writing is a little poor. This fic is dedicated to all MelloxNear fans, and my wonderful beta Forbiddensoul562 who has been so helpful with EVERYTHING! This fic would have been utter shit without her help! Please review! If you like what you read, leave comments and it'll help me write more and update it sooner!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, I'm not making any money off of this. Please do not sue me!

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Chapter 1: The Secret Admirer

It was February and all of the children at Wammy's house were inside, sheltering themselves away from the bitter cold of the snowstorm within the warmth of the Victorian style mansion.

Most of the children were in the common room playing games with one another, but Mello was in his room, studying. He was tired of being number 2 and was determined to beat Near on the upcoming Algebra 2 exam. He was looking through his backpack, but somehow the said book, which would assist him, had gone missing.

"Damn it! Why the fuck does this have to happen now? If I want to beat Near I have to ace this test! Damn it!" He continued tearing through his backpack looking for the book, when he heard a soft knock at the door.

He immediately stopped his search and got up to answer it, irritated that someone had interrupted his study time.

The blonde flung the door open and was about to tell whoever it was to fuck off, when he saw that there was no one there…only a small, red heart-shaped chocolate box. When he looked closer he saw that his name was printed on it…in large pink lettering.

He put his hand to his forehead and sighed. _'Every Valentines Day it's always the same…another girly box of valentines chocolates…probably from Linda.'_ He thought, irritated.

He opened the box up and found a note lying on top of the chocolates.

'_Oh Jesus…I wonder what mushy things she wrote…'_

He opened it up and was immediately surprised to find that the letter wasn't from Linda after all.

_Mello,_

_Now, we don't talk much, and sometimes I wonder if you even know that I exist. Anyway, something has happened that I can neither explain nor understand myself. This feeling has left me wondering for a while whether, on this day, you would like to be my valentine? Even if you rejected me, I think this feeling would stay. Remembering our current circumstances and seeing how far apart our worlds are… I would not be surprised if this never happened… or if you did not want to. I think there's also a high possibility that you hate me…Very sad if that's the case. Either way, I do care very much for you, regardless of what your feelings are. Really I do, however, hope that you would enjoy the chocolates I have provided._

_Ступай по темнеющему снегу,  
который несомненно приведет тебя к бедам и  
волнениям. Рассуждай логически, так, чтобы  
никто не мог тебя оспорить; и еще раз,  
никаких эмоций. Но это только при условии  
того, что ты хочешь получить подсказку,  
которая и приведет тебя к ответу._

_Let's see if you can figure out the puzzle._

'_What the fuck… who is this person? Wait a minute…Matt. This is just the kind of trick he'd pull on me just to get me pissed off…like he did when he left all of those mysterious love notes around. I thought that the girls of Wammy's were writing them…until I asked one of them why they were writing so many notes.__That__was embarrassing. When I told Matt about it he burst out laughing and fessed up that it was him all along…that bastard. Not to mention, he's the only one who knows of my origin besides Rodger…'_ Mello reminisced.

With that thought, Mello left his room, with the letter in hand, and walked down the hall to Matt's room. He impatiently knocked on Matt's door; when there was no answer, he knocked again.

'_What the hell? Why isn't he answering?'_

When Mello listened closer he could hear the faint sound effects of gunshots from one of Matt's video games.

'_Of course…he's plugged into one of his games and can't hear me.'_

Mello then turned the knob, only to discover that it was locked. _'That bastard! Why the fuck is his door locked?'_

"Matt! Open the fucking door! I want to talk to you!"

That's when Mello heard a faint "Oh shit," and the sounds of the game being stopped. The door swung open and Matt stood in the doorway, happy to see Mello. "Hey, Mello! How's it g-"

"Is this your idea of a joke, Matt?" Mello waved the letter in his face. "The chocolate is great, but, seriously, the joke is over."

Matt gave him a confused look, "What the hell are you talking about? I never got you any chocolate. What joke?"

Mello, suddenly enraged by his friend's feigning that he didn't know anything, lunged at Matt and pushed him up against the closest bedroom wall. He was instantly nose-to-nose with Matt, leaving him no personal space whatsoever.

He was determined to get Matt to spill any information, and he also knew that this method of interrogation made him uncomfortable in such a way that always worked in giving Mello what he wanted.

Matt's face immediately went from a smile to a frightened, uncomfortable grimace. He tried to get away but Mello's grip was too strong.

"Damn it! I swear I'm telling the truth, now get off of me you git!" Matt said, struggling against the blonde

Mello looked at the redhead's face and saw a genuine expression of confusion. He then looked into the gamer's green eyes and saw the fear that was swirling around within them.

'_He's…not hiding anything?'_

Mello suddenly broke the uncomfortable clasp between them. "Oh, er...sorry, Matt. Look at this." Mello handed the letter to his friend and watched for any reactions the gamer might have to the text.

At first, Matt raised an eyebrow as he was reading the letter, but then after a few minutes of staring at it, he burst out laughing. "You've got an admirer, Mello, and I think I know who it might be…" Matt was grinning ear to ear and his eyes taunted Mello with the secret he held.

Mello looked like he was about to blow a fuse. "What? Who is it? Tell me now, Matt!"

Mello once again pinned Matt against the wall, but it didn't appear to have the same effect as it had a few minutes ago.

Matt looked at Mello in response, a smug grin plastered upon his face. "Sorry, Mels, that's not going to work this time. I'm surprised you haven't already figured it out for yourself."

Mello pushed Matt against the wall harder, frustrated that the redhead wouldn't share the information with him.

"What? Oh come on, Matt!"

Matt remained unaffected by the grasp, "Try to figure it out on your own. If you honestly can't get anything out of it by tonight, I'll give you a hint."

Mello scowled and released Matt from the wall. "Fair enough…"

And with that, Mello stormed out and slammed the door.

He was walking while studying the letter again… feeling even more irritated about the whole thing than he thought this needed to be. _'This whole thing would be less stressful if Matt would just tell me who the fuck it is!'_ Mello thought to himself.

All of a sudden, he was ripped from his thoughts when he ran into someone. Once he'd recovered from it, he looked up and, to his horror, saw that it was Linda.

'_Fuck. This is just what I need right now…'_ He thought, annoyed.

"Oh! Hi, Mello! Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going..." The girl said in her normally happy tone.

Mello groaned. "Just get out of the way, Linda. I'm busy."

Linda saw that Mello was holding a letter and made to snatch it from him. "Oh! What's that you've got there, Mello? Is it a love letter?" She asked, teasingly.

Mello immediately backed up and vented his angered feelings about the whole situation on Linda.

"Mind your own business, bitch!" He nearly shouted to her.

Linda immediately backed up, glowering at Mello. "There's no need to be so rude about it, Mello. I was just curious." She said with a glare.

Mello ignored her, walking away. _'Whatever… I truly don't give a fuck what that girl thinks of me.'_

He continued his walk back to his room, his face still hot from the encounter with Linda. When he reached his bedroom door he kicked it open and slammed it shut in one fluid motion.

His Algebra 2 exam forgotten, he laid down on his bed, all the while holding the letter in front of his face.

After what seemed like hours of staring, he sighed.

'_Fuck. I've tried everything on this letter…everything except…' Mello started to look at the letter again. 'Oh I see…it's all a big puzzle. If I take the first letters of the sentences I get the letters N, A, T, E, R, I, V, E, and R which spells out…'_

"Nateriver …what the hell?" He thought aloud.

Mello knew that he had found a major clue in the letter, but the clue just confused him even more and the thought that Matt knew infuriated him even more.

'_Dammit! How the fuck does he figure it all out in such a short amount of time? I spent an entire evening on this and still don't know who the fuck it is…'_

Mello took the letter and left his messy room, storming down the hall till he reached Matt's room; once there he didn't even bother knocking before walking right in.

"Nateriver? Matt, who the fuck is Nateriver?" Mello asked, saying it all as one word.

Matt paused the game he was playing and looked up at Mello with a smirk. "You mean Nate River?"

Mello stopped cold. "I-it's a guy?" His eyes were wide with surprise as he spoke.

Matt chuckled. "Yes, and knowing you, you like that even more."

'_What? How could he know? I've never told him!'_ Mello blushed, his face twisting in anger, as it was the only reaction he could think to make. "Shut the fuck up!"

"Your words deny it, but your blush says otherwise."

"I said shut the fuck up!" Mello shouted angrily to his friend.

The gamer smirked back, "Relax, Mels. Just think it over, tell me if you figure it out." Matt advised him before turning back to his game again.

Mello, irritated beyond belief, stormed out of Matt's bedroom. His face was beet-red as he stomped back down the hall. He hated this puzzle and not being able to figure it all out as quickly as it seemed Matt had.

When he reached his room he slammed the door; he could feel the whole wall shake when he did so.

'_So it's a guy…and his name is Nate River. Well, that's kind of a relief because I've never really liked women, but who is he? I've never heard of anyone by that name before…'_

Mello took another glance at the letter and realized he completely neglected to analyze the Russian section at the bottom of the paper. Wasting no time, he began to read the Russian in sections, trying to find a meaning of it all and, in the back of his mind, thanking the fact that he had retained all the Russian he had known from before he was brought to Wammy's.

'_Ok…first stanza:__ "__If you want a hint, think into the grey, ominous abyss that you know__…"'_

Before he could even begin to analyze it, a quiet, almost silent knock sounded from the door.

He irritably got up and answered it, throwing open the door just to let out a bit more of his annoyance. When he opened the door, however, he was surprised to see nothing there but an Algebra 2 book just sitting there in front of his door. When he gave it a glance he knew immediately that this book wasn't his.

His was in messy shape, just like his room. This book, however, looked like it had never even been touched. He picked up the book, opened it and glanced at the inside cover, where the name of the owner was printed. To his surprise, he saw Near's name printed in that space.

'_Great… just fucking great. Now I have to return this to Near…'_ Mello's blood started to boil at the thought of having to seek his rival out.

Then, suddenly, a strange thought crossed his head. "Maybe Near knows who Nate River is…While I'm at it I guess I could ask him."

As Mello stepped out of his room with the book, he quickly glanced back at the clock on the wall in his room. The clock read 9:09.

'_Dammit! It's already after hours…I'll have to be extra careful to not get caught.'_

And with that thought, he made his way down to Near's room. He wasn't even sure what made him want to return the book to the boy when he could use it to study for that damn test, but for some reason his conscience wouldn't let him do that.

After walking down the hall and turning the corner, Mello finally saw the closed door to Near's bedroom.

He walked up and quietly knocked.

"Come in." He heard Near say, and Mello entered the younger genius's room, noting on how clean and pristine it was in comparison to his disorderly room. He spotted the pale boy sitting at his desk, leaning over some homework.

"Good evening, Mello. Is there something you want?" Near asked, leaning back in the chair a bit.

"Yeah. I found this at my door." Mello held the Algebra 2 book out to Near, who crossed over the room to him and took it into his hands.

Near smiled, "Thank you, Mello." He said, "I was wondering where I had misplaced this. I have something for you as well."

The younger genius walked over to his desk and opened one of the drawers; he pulled out another Algebra 2 book that had clearly seen better days; then handed it to the awaiting blonde. "I believe this is yours?" He said, offering it to the blonde carefully.

Mello's eyes widened. He opened the book and, sure enough, his name was written there.

"Is there anything else you needed, Mello?" Near questioned, bringing Mello out of his thoughts and back to the Earth.

He instantly remembered the letter.

"Near…I have a question to ask you." He shut his eyes and clenched his fists, angry with himself that he had to go to _Near_ for help. This was certainly a blow to his pride, and felt almost like a failure on his part. To him… it seemed like Mello should be smart enough to figure this out on his own, like he shouldn't need Near's help. And yet here he was…

Near answered in his usual monotone voice, "Yes?"

"Do you know of any Nate River staying at Wammy's?"

"Yes." Near looked up, his grey eyes boring straight into Mello's blue eyes and into, what felt like, his very being. This upset Mello a bit… to be so easily read by his enemy.

Even though Mello had suspected that the albino might know something about this, he couldn't fight the surprise at seeing him admit such information so easily.

"Nate River is a student here at Wammy's." Near went on vaguely.

Mello rolled his eyes. _'Way to state the obvious, Near…'_ The blonde thought to himself before he calmly replied back.

"I already figured that much, Near. How come I've never seen him before?"

The albino was silent for a moment before replying. "You've seen him before, I'm sure of it, perhaps it is that you've just never noticed him before."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that maybe you should look a little harder. Now, if you don't mind, I have studying to do, I'll see you in class tomorrow, Mello."

Mello took the hint and walked out the door, book in hand. "Yeah, whatever, Near."

"Good night, Mello." And with that the albino closed the door.

As Mello was walking back, he kept looking over the Russian. Something was calling his attention to the first phrase, but he was unsure of what exactly it was.

'_Hmmm…"__think into the grey, ominous abyss you know"__…'_

_

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A/N: So, what do you think? I hope it's not too terrible! Please leave reviews and constructive criticism. No flames! Remember, this is my first fic, so… be kind. Also… please keep in mind that more of the Russian part of the note will be revealed later on as well.

Please review!  
_I-Am-Justice_


	2. A Coincidence

A/N: Oh my god! I'm sooo sorry for taking so long to get this next chapter to you! I was sick with writers' block and also had a _lot_ of real life crap happening. Anyway, sorry again for my tardiness! Please, _PLEASE _leave a review! Your reviews motivate me to keep writing and update sooner! Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Death Note or any of its characters. If you seriously sue me over _this_…you have no life.

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Chapter 2: A Coincidence

The next morning at breakfast Mello was sitting over his bowl of cereal, looking irritated at the letter. The glare he was giving it was almost hot enough to light the earth's atmosphere on fire.

Matt was sitting next to him, occasionally glancing over at his irritated friend and smiling to himself because he knew something that Mello _didn't_, for once. However, unlike usual mornings, Mello was letting his cereal sit to become mush as he was focusing on another section of the Russian hint at the bottom; trying to decipher its meaning.

He heard the sound of someone sitting down across from him. When he looked up to see who it was, he almost burst into flames with anger and annoyance.

"What the fuck are you doing, Near?" He said scathingly while directing the glare was he once giving to the letter up to Near.

Near looked up from his tray, glancing at Mello with his dark eyes, "I'm sitting down at this table with my breakfast… Is there something about that which you don't understand?" He asked in his signature monotone voice.

'_Oh my god, the __**nerve **__of this kid! First he sits down, knowing he's not invited and then he insults my intelligence???_' Mello thought to himself before he stood up –so infuriated with Near's smartass remark that you could practically see the smoke billowing out from his ears. "Get the hell out of here, Near." He said impertinently, "No one wants to sit with a total _freak_ like you! Go away!"

At those words, Mello thought he spotted something rather unusual. Near's expression went from his usual emotionless state to pure, unadulterated sadness. Mello blinked sharply, not believing what he just saw. _'Did he just look…sad?'_ but when he looked again, the saddened look he thought he saw was gone; the emotionless look back in its usual place. '_I must have just imagined it. Near's not one to show emotion'_

Near sat there, silent.

Resorting back to his normal persona and dismissing what he saw he finally said, "What's the matter, Near? Too scared to retort?" Mello said, tauntingly.

Near exhaled a slow breath before taking his tray and walking away without another word.

"Mels…you really should be nicer to him." Matt said, disapproval in his voice.

"Why the hell should I?" Mello asked, anger evident in his tone as he turned to the redheaded gamer.

Matt shrugged, "It's not like he's ever done anything to you that truly warrants your hatred towards him."

Mello's eye twitched, not believing what he just heard his best friend say. "Are you fucking stupid, Matt?" The blonde asked rudely, "He's constantly beats me academically and he constantly _taunts_ me with that fact. You saw how he smiled at me when he beat me at last year's final exam!"

The gamer rolled his eyes, "Maybe you're misinterpreting his actions."

"Matt…whose side are you on?" Mello asked slowly him in a dangerous tone.

Matt sighed, "Never mind Mello… how are you coming on that letter? You figure it out yet?" He asked teasingly.

"Oh…no…not yet…I'm still figuring out this section." He replied quietly.

"Well, let me know when you give up." He said with a smug grin.

Mello ignored the taunt and turned back to the letter.

'"_If you want a hint, think into the grey, ominous abyss that you know." What could that abyss be? It has to be metaphorical…'_

Mello's thoughts were interrupted by the bell suddenly ringing, which he silently cursed for stopping his train of thought.

He looked down and realized that he hadn't finished his breakfast. He groaned inwardly at the thought of just how hungry he was going to be later.

-

While Mello was walking to class, he realized that the only thing he was carrying was the letter. '_Dammit! Now I've got to go all the way back to my room and get my stuff…'_Mello took a quick glance at a clock on the hallway wall, '_Fuck! Now I'm going to be __**late **__because of this…'_After a mad dash to his room to grab his things, Mello burst through the door of the classroom and sat down in his seat.

"Late _again_, Mello?" the teacher said in a nagging tone. Mello rolled his eyes in response. "Sorry." He said, unapologetically. "What are we doing?" He then asked.

"Had you been here on-time you would have known that we are all dividing into pairs and doing research projects focused around one of these topics." She said, sliding a paper listing all the possible Sociology topics onto his desk. "Had you been here _on-time_, you also would have been able to pick your partner. However, because you weren't, you will now work with Near." She continued.

It seemed that Mello's shitty start to a day was about to get worse. "You have _got_ to be kidding." he groaned aloud.

"No, I'm very serious. Now, please kindly join Near in the back."

Mello got up from where he'd just sat down at his desk and dragged his feet across the room to Near's desk before slamming his books to the ground. "Well…I've got to work with you…" He said blandly to the younger genius. '_No sense complaining about it now._' He thought, as Near remained silent.

"What's our research topic?" He asked, looking up from the sheet into the pale boy's grey eyes.

However, when he looked at them this time, it seemed as though it was the first time ever really seeing them, or perhaps he had simply never taken the time to really notice them before. As Mello looked into them he felt like they were bottomless, and easy to get lost in.

"_Wow…his eyes are like pits…pits that seem to go on forever. Wait…an abyss?"_He thought, looking deeper into the albino's eyes, noting the color around them._"It's __got __to be a coincidence…yeah…that's it, just a coincidence."_

"Mello?" Near suddenly asked.

Mello snapped out of his thoughts. "Wha-?"

"Is something wrong? I told you that our project was on a person's imagination but you've continued to stare at me for the past minute…" Near said, a hand reaching up to a single silver curl on his head.

"No…I'm fine…besides the fact that I'm stuck with _you_…" The blonde said with a scowl.

Near ignored the insult, "Are you sure?" He asked, "You had a very disturbed look about you." His eyes looked back to Mello as if trying to analyze him.

"I'm positive, Near. And anyway, it's none of _your_ business." He said with a glare.

Near lowered his gaze to his books. "I apologize for asking." He stated in his signature monotone voice.

Mello sighed, "Let's just get this over with, ok?"

Near didn't bother to look up from his books while replying. "Fine. I figured we should start with how humans first obtained the sense of imagination and then work our way down on how it works and so on…"

Mello groaned inwardly. This was going to be a _long_ day.

-

By the time the lunch bell rang, Mello's stomach was practically screaming at him, begging to be fed.

After a mad dash through the lunch line, he sat down in his usual spot next to Matt at the table; Matt raised an eyebrow at the obscene amounts of food the blonde had stacked on his tray.

"Um…Mels?"

Knowing that Matt was referring to the mountain-like piles of food on his tray, Mello quickly snapped a reply, "Shut up! I didn't have breakfast this morning! I'm fucking _starving_!" He said irritably.

"Oh, that's right. You were too busy with that letter." Matt said with a smirk.

Mello would have retorted back, but since his mouth was too full to reply, he went with the easy option of flicking the gamer off.

Matt blew it off, used to getting this kind of behavior from the blonde. "Did you figure _anything_ out yet?" He then asked.

Mello was silent for moment before replying, "No."

Matt raised his goggles off of his eyes so he could look more directly at Mello, "That was an awfully long pause... are you sure?"

"Yes." Mello said without hesitation.

Matt shrugged, "Ok…if you say so…"

Mello gave an annoyed grunt before continuing to shovel food into his mouth. While he was eating, his thoughts focused back on Near.

'_It was a __coincidence__, nothing more…'_He thought, trying to convince himself '_Yeah…a coincidence…'_

_

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A/N: Well…there's chapter two…Hope it isn't _too_ disappointing…please leave a review! I'll try to update soon!

~I-Am-Justice


	3. Translation

A/N: So again, it's taken me _another_ two months to write another chapter. Surprise, surprise! _ Gah, this chapter gave me absolute hell…why? I'm not exactly sure… o_0 but I know that I wouldn't have gotten through it without a shitload of help from my wonderful beta Eyes (forbiddensoul562). Thanks a ton, Eyes! Oh and I'd like to make a shout-out to my friend Maia, who helped me brainstorm ideas for the chapter! Anyway, please r&r and enjoy the chapter (though chances are that you probably _won't _enjoy it).

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Death Note or any of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't have to write fanfics.

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Chapter 3: Translation

After quickly cramming down his lunch, Mello had some free time before the next class so he ultimately chose to spend that time looking over the mysterious letter that he'd yet to crack in the common room, while Matt was plugged into his PSP.

Mello tried not to think of the 'coincidence' involving the abyss, and analyzed the final bit of the Russian.

"_Tread through the clouding snow that surely gives you much grief and trouble_…" the text read. '_What the fuck is this saying? This isn't making any sense…_ _Stupid metaphors…_ '

Frustrated, he looked up and noticed Near in his usual spot in the corner, working on yet another blank jigsaw puzzle. The thought of asking for help crossed his mind, though he strongly resented it. '_I really don't want to…but Near's always really good at puzzles like this… and if I'm ever going to solve this…'_

With that thought, Mello walked over to the corner, letter in hand. "Near…" He said, his eyes narrowing instinctively.

The albino looked up from his puzzle, "Yes, Mello?" He replied in his usual monotone voice before looking down at the puzzle once more.

Mello took his time in replying, ashamed that he had to go to his rival for help _again._ "Take a look at this letter…I'm trying to figure out this hint." He handed the letter to the smaller boy.

Near spent a few minutes glancing over what Mello figured was the actual letter before he finally spoke. "Hm…this is interesting, but I do not know Russian so I am unable to complete my analysis. Would you mind translating for me?" He asked, handing the letter back to Mello so he could read it.

Mello, glad that he was finally better at something than Near, didn't hesitate to translate. The blonde took out a blank piece of paper and began to write the English version of the letter. After a minute of writing, he began to read aloud.

"_If you want a hint, think into the grey, ominous abyss that you know…" _He began to read,_ "Tread through the clouding snow that surely gives you much grief and trouble…" _He looked up and noticed that Near was still working on the puzzle. "Are you even _listening _to me, Near?" He said, going flush with anger.

"Of course I am, Mello." Said the pale boy; not even looking up from his puzzle or pausing in his work as he replied.

Mello scowled before continuing, "_Think logically with a stoic approach; and for once, not with your emotions. But that's only if you want the hint that will lead you to the answer."_After finishing reading the translation, Mello handed the note to Near for examination.

Near looked over the note for a long moment before he began to think aloud, whether to himself or not, Mello wasn't sure. "Well... the abyss is obviously something endless. So... somewhere dark and endless in a pit... maybe...outdoors somewhere?"

He paused before continuing. "Clouding ice surrounding this outdoor-." He interrupted his train of thought, "Let's say wilderness. Ice surrounding this wilderness… which you can't get out of because of, not only your emotions but… because it's endless." He stopped, thinking again. "Yes… I think that might be what it is. As for the rest…it's pretty self-explanatory." Near analyzed.

Mello wanted to retort to that last remark, but he realized that Near was of course correct. As always. '_Of course… I'm always having problems with my emotions. They often prevent me from thinking properly.__So it's telling me not to let that happen. __What this is suggesting, is for me to be more like…'_Mello froze in his thoughts.

Could it be another coincidence?

"Mello?" The albino asked, interrupting the blonde's startled thoughts with a slight look of confusion on his face.

Mello snapped back to attention. "What?"

"You were wearing that look again." He said, twisting a lock of white hair.

The blonde scowled, "It's nothing, Near." He turned to walk away.

However, the pale boy wouldn't let him get away so easily. "Wait. Mello, I have some notes on our project that I thought you might want to look over."

As he took the paper from Near, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. He turned around and began to walk away to class, but not before hearing Near call after him once again.

"I'll see you in class, Mello." The blonde ignored him and hurried off to class, not wanting to be late this time.

-

After classes for the day were through, Mello was making his way back to his room while glancing at the letter once again. While analyzing the letter, angry thoughts began surfacing in his mind again.

'_Nate River…who is he, and how the fuck do both Matt and Near know him but I don't?'_ He thought, his blood pressure rising.

Any answer the blonde might have come up with for that question was interrupted when he rounded the corner and smacked right into Near, causing them both to fall to the floor, scattering their schoolbooks.

The blonde rubbed his now-sore forehead, "Ow! Dammit! Watch where you're going, will you?" he said, annoyed that his train of thought was once again interrupted.

"Mello, please don't be a hypocrite." Near said, the emotionless tone in his voice matching the expression he wore on his features. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and for that I apologize; but you clearly weren't looking either." He continued.

Mello decided to ignore the pale boy's comment and focus on picking his things up.

When he looked down, however, he noticed there was a book that wasn't part of his school supplies. The blonde picked it up and glanced at the title. _'This is an English-Russian Dictionary. This definitely isn't mine. Why would I need it anyway?' _Mello thought. _ 'Wait…if it's not mine…that must mean it's…__**his**__'_ the blonde's eyes widened at the thought.

"Mello? Could I please have my book back?" the pale boy asked, his voice and expression still a monotone.

"Near…what the hell are you doing with a Russian dictionary?" The blonde asked impertinently.

Near reached a hand up to a lock of his hair, slowly beginning to twirl it.

"Well, I thought I'd use this book to help me analyze your letter some more." At the mentioning of the letter, Mello remembered where his train of thought had left off. On an impulse, he decided to inquire the albino about his mysterious admirer again.

Mello raised his gaze to Near, boring straight into his eyes. "Who is Nate River?" He said in an even tone.

Near let out a small sigh before replying, "Mello, I believe that I've already answered that question. He's a student here at Wammy's, and you've seen him before." The smaller boy replied.

"Like _hell_ you have!" The blonde said, outraged. "All you said was to look harder!"

"And it's clear to me that you have not looked any harder…" Near said, cutting the older boy off, "I have to say, I'm disappointed in you, Mello."

Mello paused, making sure that he really just heard what Near said.

"_What?_" He yelled.

"This whole... puzzle thing that's encrypted in this letter is relatively simple, even for people who are not so good at puzzles," His eyes flashed to the blonde as though to show he was talking about him. "I'm really surprised that you have not used other resources, or looked any harder into figuring this out." He explained while picking up the last of his books.

Mello was beyond angry. It was a miracle that he didn't burst right then and there and hit the smaller boy. Mello had the burning desire to beat the living shit out of Near.

However when he raised his clenched fist to hit the small boy, Roger, the current head of Wammy's house, passed by and immediately spotted Mello.

"Mello!" He yelled. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

The blonde's eyes narrowed, "Nothing." He said, lowering his fist.

Roger gave Mello a harsh glare before turning to Near. "Near, please return to your room. I need to have a word with Mello."

Near nodded and silently walked away.

As soon as Near was out of sight, Rodger began to scold the blonde. "Mello, how many times have I told you not to be violent with your classmates?"

The blonde grumbled under his breath; having been scolded by Roger many times, he had often heard many of the same things repeated.

Roger sighed, "If this keeps up, Mello, I'll have no choice but to cut off your chocolate supply."

Mello's eyes narrowed even more and he began to clench his teeth in annoyance. "You wouldn't d-"

"But I _would_, and I _will_ if I see you lay a hand on anyone again." The old man said, cutting the younger boy off. "Please return to your room now." And with that, Roger continued to walk on his way, leaving a very, _very_ angry Mello behind.

-

Rodger's little "talk" along with the threat of cutting of the blonde's chocolate supply had only made the Mello's already angry mood turn to one that was now white-hot. The angry blonde stomped down the hallway, in an attempt to rid himself of his anger non-violently, but it wasn't doing much good.

'_God…I need to hit something soon or I am going to fucking __**explode**__._' He thought to himself, the heating seeming to emanate from his very being.

* * *

A/N: Well…there it is. Disappointing, no? *sigh* oh well…I needed to get past this chapter so I can get rolling with the rest of what I have planned. Please leave a review telling me your thoughts!

~I-Am-Justice


	4. Finding Victory

A/N: Okay, okay, okay, okay. I _know_…I took _ANOTHER_ two months (almost _three!)_. But before you start throwing shit at me, let me explain. I had originally had the chapter written in way under two months. However my wonderful beta Eyes (Also Known As Forbiddensoul562) told me that the chapter really wasn't up to par. After looking it over, I realized that she was right. So, I had to rewrite a large chunk of the chapter, which took a lot more time than it needed to, but overall I'm glad that I did it. Anyway, I'll shut the fuck up now. Please read and review and enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: Do I have to spell it out? I D-O-N-'-T O-W-N D-E-A-T-H N-O-T-E O-R I-T-'s C-H-A-R-A-C-T-E-R-S!

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Chapter 4: Finding Victory

Mello's mood was not improving in the least, '_I really, __**really**__ need to hit something…' _

The blonde looked up and saw an all too temping target: Matt's bedroom door. _'Good enough.'_ He thought; and with one swift movement, he kicked the door open with a loud _BANG_.

The gamer jumped from his bedside; surprised at the sudden loud noise. "Aagh! Mello, what the hell is your problem?" The redhead asked, obviously startled.

The blonde gave the gamer a piercing glare before all of his frustration and anger came spilling out at once. "I have to work with Near on this _stupid_ Sociology project, he's _constantly_ judging me, Roger is threatening to _cut my chocolate intake_ and on top of all that," The blonde paused to catch his breath, "This fucking letter is _driving me crazy!_ _That's_ what my problem is, Matt!"

Mello then angrily grabbed Matt by the collar of his shirt and got right in face –once again depriving the redhead of any personal space to speak of. "Who _is_ it, Matt?" He asked menacingly –his voice coming out painfully slow and venomous.

Matt's eyes widened in fear; He could see that this was starting to turn violent and that if he couldn't calm Mello down, he could end up in the infirmary and Mello might end up being pulled from the successor race.

The redhead spoke up, "Mello! You're over-reacting." As soon as he said it, Matt realized just how poor his choice of words was and he cringed just as Mello was responding.

"_What?_" The blonde screamed, shaking the redhead, "You shut the fuck up! You have _no_ idea what _shit_ I've been going through!"

Matt's eyes widened further, "Mello! Stop!" He yelled, "You're not thinking clearly!"

One of Mello's eyes twitched, "You sound _just_ like Near!" The blonde raised a fist and began to launch it at the gamer's face.

Matt panicked and jumped to his last resort for calming the angry blonde. "No, Mihael!"

Mello's fist stopped midair, his eyes wide with surprise. A few seconds passed before the fact that Matt had just called him by his real name had hit him. "…._What_ did you just call me?" He asked Matt, stunned.

Matt unsuccessfully tried to escape the blonde's grasp before reluctantly answering, "Mihael…I called you Mihael, Mello." He said quietly.

Mello released his grip on Matt and slowly backed away before inquiring how the redhead came to know such a thing, "Matt….how the _**fuck**_ do you know my name?" He asked in a slightly calmer, but still angry tone.

Matt heaved a sigh of relief, "I can explain, just give me a minute." He said as he unpacked his laptop.

'_This oughta be__ good…I can't wait to see how he explains __**this**__** one**__.' _The blonde thought.

After about a minute of typing and clicking, the redhead rotated the laptop, on the screen was what appeared to be Mello's ID. In addition to everything a normal ID would have, there was a space labeled "Original Name: Mihael Keehl".

Mello was stunned, "Matt…how-?"

"I hacked into the database and came across the profiles of all of the students at Wammy's." The redhead said, interrupting the blonde. Matt made a few mouse clicks and the screen showed what looked like hundreds of files labeled with different aliases. The redhead clicked on a folder labeled "Matt" and his ID appeared a second later. "I figured I'd show you my real name seeing as I saw yours. Only fair, you know?"

Mello nodded. When he glanced at the screen, the name he saw caused one of his eyebrows to rise.

'_His name is __**Mail Jeevas**__?' _He thought,_ 'What the fuck? That's totally __**not**__ what I was expecting. He certainly doesn't __**look **__like a "Mail" to me.' _

"Mail Jeevas, huh? What kind of a name is _that_?" He asked half-jokingly.

"Well, what kind of name is Mihael Keehl?" Matt retorted.

The blonde rolled his eyes and flipped the gamer off before refocusing his attention on the screen. As he was looking through the names, a certain file caught his attention. '_Hmmm, Near's file… this could be interesting…_'He thought, considering what he could do with some blackmail on him.

As he reached for the mouse, Matt looked at the screen and realized that Mello saw the folder. He reached out an arm to stop him. "Mello wait! You don't want to open that." Matt said; his tone serious.

Mello, now even more suspicious about what the redhead might be hiding, shoved Matt's arm aside.

Matt, not wanting to get into another fight with Mello, backed off and sighed, "Fine…but don't say I didn't warn you."

Mello rolled his eyes and gave the folder a click. _'What could be so bad about __**this**__?'_ He thought.

Near's ID appeared and Mello began to read off its info. _'"Alias: Near, Date of Birth: August 24__th__, Year of Birth: 1991, Sex: Male, Height: 153 CM (5 ft, 0 in.), Weight: 39.1 kg (86.4 lbs), Blood Type: B, Original Name…Nate River"'_

Mello froze. He took another look at the screen to make sure he wasn't hallucinating before his entire body began to shake. Pieces of the letter were echoing in his head, scrambling with his thoughts. '"…_the grey, ominous abyss…" "…the clouding snow that surely gives you much grief and trouble…" "…logically with a stoic approach…" his __**eyes**__ are the abyss…__**he**__ is the clouding snow giving me trouble…__**he**__ thinks with a stoic approach…that Russian-English dictionary…he used it to write the letter…' _

Matt noticed the blonde's shakiness and put a hand on his arm "Hey, Mels, are you okay?"

The blonde continued to shake, eyes wide, "No…no, that _can't_ be right…" He said in practically a whisper. He refused to believe it.

"And why wouldn't it be right?" Matt asked. "Mels…it's the fucking database of all the students at Wammy's which _L _constructed…it's not wrong. Near is Nate River and that's that. Look…" Matt took the Sociology notes that Near had given Mello earlier and compared it next to the letter. "The _handwriting_ is even identical. It's him."

Mello put a hand to his forehead, "But… why of all the people does it have to be _Near_?" He spat in disgust at the thought.

Matt sighed, "I never understood your problem with him and I _still_ don't."

The blonde squeezed his eyes shut in frustration, "Near is always judging me, belittling me, standing in my way of being L's successor…_that's_ why I hate him." He explained in the simplest way he could think of.

"But clearly he _isn't_ judging you, Mello…" Matt began, "I mean…you've seen the letter. It's clear that he _likes_ you."

"But I _hate_ him!" Mello said through gritted teeth.

Matt put a hand to his head, "Again…why?" he asked.

Mello ignored the question and rose to his feet, heading for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Matt asked.

"Out." The blonde answered vaguely through gritted teeth before walking out the door.

-

Down in the common room, it was crowded. It was still far too cold to play outside and so many of the children had gathered there. Some children were playing games with each other while others were just relaxing by the warm fire. Near was in his usual spot, putting a jigsaw puzzle together. It wasn't enormous like some of the other puzzles he had put together in the past, but it was still large enough to be challenging and hold his interest.

Mello slowly walked up to the puzzle, the pale boy's back facing him as he worked on the puzzle. "Near…" Mello said quietly, as the anger began to build within him.

"Yes, Mello?" Said the pale boy, not glancing up from his puzzle to reply.

Mello briefly hesitated before continuing. "We…need to talk." He said, holding the letter up so Near could see it.

The albino showed no change of emotion at the blonde's words or the sight of the letter, "Alright, what is it, Mello?" He asked monotonously, continuing to snap pieces together.

Mello clenched his fists in frustration. '_How the __**hell**__ can he be so __**calm**__ when he __**knows**_ _what we're about to discuss?' _he thought angrily.

"What the hell were you thinking, Near? How could you, the number one successor for L come to that? You don't love anything! And in any case…" The blonde paused, "Who would _ever_ love something like _you_?"

Near didn't seem to hear any of what he had just said, he was still working on the puzzle, not looking at Mello.

The albino's lack of attention fueled the fire that enraged the blonde, "God fucking _**dammit**_, Near! _**Look**_ at me!" He screamed. With a swift kick, Mello had sent Near's puzzle flying in several directions across the common room.

When Mello raised his gaze, he realized that the entire common room had gone silent and that everyone was staring at them; eyes wide.

Near was silent for a moment before replying, "I don't know what you are speaking of, Mello…" He began.

Mello's cheeks went flush with anger, '_Oh, so now he's __**denying**__ it? __**Bastard!**__'_

"…and to be quite frank, I'm not sure I _want_ to know." Near continued.

Mello searched his head for a retort, but by the time he had come up with one, Near had already stood up and was starting to make his way out of the common room.

'_Now he's just blowing me off!' _he growled angrily to himself, _'__What the fuck, Near?_'

In a normal situation, Mello would've let him go, but he was angered by the albino's denial and ran after him.

"Get _back_ here and _answer_ my fucking question!" He yelled.

The albino stopped to respond to the blonde when someone ran out of the crowd and gave the blonde a hard shove from behind, causing him to cry out in surprise, "Agh! You bastard!" Mello was about to fight back when he realized that 'that bastard' was Linda.

He silently cursed to himself before yelling at the girl. "Just what the hell was _that _f-" His words were cut off as Linda started to scream at him,

"Leave him _alone_! Why do you always have to _pick_ on him? You're just _jealous_ that _he's_ number _one_ and you're _not_!" Linda's words struck a nerve in him.

"You shut the fuck up! What are you defending _him_ for? It's not like he _deserves_ it!" He retorted, "Do you have a _crush_ on him?" He asked teasingly.

At his words, Linda's eyes went wide and her cheeks turned a hue of scarlet.

"That's _it_, isn't it?" The blonde said, continuing to taunt her, "_You_ think that if you stick up for him that he might start to _like you back_! Well I've got _news_ for you: There's no way in _hell_ that anyone, even a _freak_ like him would ever fall for an _obnoxious_ little _bitch_ like you! _Oh_, and for your information, he's not even interested in your _gender!_ He doesn't like _you,_ he likes _me_. Now _piss off_!" Mello didn't know where his words were coming from, but he needed to vent his raging emotions, and they seemed to be quite effective.

Linda's blush covered her whole face, her eyes became narrow slits, and her lips curled into a menacing snarl.

"Well?" He taunted, "What've you got to say? Were you born without vocal cords?"

Suddenly, she silently slapped Mello across the face before stomping out of the common room, tears streaking down her face.

'_Good riddance.'_ He thought before switching his attention back to Near. "Near!" He placed a forceful hand on the albino's right shoulder "_Answer_ me!"

Near slowly raised his gaze and looked the red-faced blonde straight in the eyes before speaking. "Mello, you need to start thinking with a stoic approach, and for once _not_ with your emotions. I'd be glad to talk to you some other time, but I can't communicate properly with you when your emotions have gone to your head like this. It makes you irrational, and blind."

With that, Near silently turned back around and walked out of the common room, keeping his emotionless look the entire time. Near's words left Mello unable to speak, his thoughts a mess.

'_**Shit!**__' _He thought,_ 'Dammit…what bugs me about this is that he's __**right**__ about my emotions! __**Fuck!**__ I can't exactly speak __**calmly**__ to him, especially since-' _Mello's train of thought was interrupted when he realized that everyone in the common room was still staring at him, mouths agape.

His cheeks flushed as he gave them all a piercing glare, "Well…just what the _fuck_ are you assholes _gaping_ at?" He yelled. The children immediately turned their heads away, not wanting to get beat up by the fuming blonde.

Mello's gaze fell to the shattered remains of Near's puzzle, the pieces strewn all about the common room. Mello thought about how sad he must have made the small boy feel; broken, just like the scattered pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. Mello sighed, '_Even __**if**__ I felt differently…it would __**never**__ work. He and I are just too different, not to mention…our rivalry just wouldn't allow it.'_

-

Despite having had embarrassed Near in front of many (if not _all_) of the children at Wammy's, Mello still wasn't mollified. '_I have to finish this….' _He thought as he walked down the dormitory hallway to Near's room. _'I have to get it into his head that I __**hate **__him.'_

When he reached Near's room, he didn't even bother to knock before turning the knob on the door. The albino was sitting at his desk, staring out the window, watching the silver snow flakes fall to the frozen ground.

Near let out a quiet sigh before acknowledging the blonde's presence. "What do you want, Mello?" He asked, the monotone staying in his voice.

Mello closed the door behind him. "I want to finish this, Near." He said venomously.

"_Finish this?_" Near asked, emotion still void from his voice, "Mello, there is nothing more you can possibly do to make me feel worse than I already do; I sent my heart out to you, and as expected…you threw it back in my face. There's nothing else."

'_Nothing else, huh?' _The blonde thought to himself, '_We'll just see about __**that**__, Near.'_

Mello slowly walked up to the desk until he was directly behind the small boy. The blonde took a firm hand to Near's shoulder and forced the albino to face him. Near's façade remained undisturbed by the sudden violent movement.

Mello leaned in close to the albino's face, directing an icy glare into his grey eyes. The blonde opened his mouth as if to say something, but instead of verbally abusing the small boy, he leaned in and forced his lips onto Near's.

Due to his eyes being shut, Mello couldn't see the albino's reaction; however he could feel that Near was starting to gently kiss him back. At that, the blonde decided to deepen the kiss, extending his tongue out to the albino's lips.

At the feeling of the older boy's tongue, Near's lips hesitantly parted, allowing their tongues to meet. The kiss went on for what seemed to the boys like hours when Mello broke the kiss.

When Mello opened his eyes after breaking the kiss, he saw that Near's expression had changed.

Instead of the usual blank stare, Mello saw the albino with his eyes open wide, a small faint blush on his usually pale cheeks. Mello smirked, knowing that he had gotten under the albino's skin.

He leaned close to Near's ear, and began to tauntingly whisper to him in a sort of forced seductive manner. "How did it feel?" Near was dead-silent. "You must've really liked it…too bad you'll never experience it again. You'll be left with just the memory of me to haunt you…" Near was as silent as ever, his eyes still wide open. Mello leaned in even closer, his mouth practically touching the lobe of the small boy's ear, disdain and detestation dripping from his voice, "I _hate_ you, Nate River."

With those final words, the blonde withdrew and walked out of the room, leaving a very stunned Near behind. As he shut the door, Mello smiled to himself. '_I've won.'_

_

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_A/N: Wow! That was certainly one of the longest chapters in this fic! o.O Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I'll try to update sooner than before, however I _do_ return to school relatively soon, but I'll try my best. Please leave me a review telling me what you think!

~I-Am-Justice


	5. Confusion

A/N: So, guess what? I've taken about 4 months to get this chapter to you all. _ *Dodges several flying projectiles* Well it's here now, and I'm going to start writing the next chapter right away! Very special thanks to Forbiddensoul562 for lots and _lots_ of help with the chapter! Oh, and Happy Birthday to Mello! He's 20 today! Once again, I'm sorry for getting this to you so ridiculously late, but do enjoy the chapter and please leave a review!

Disclaimer: Death Note and its characters are owned by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata…**NOT ME.**

* * *

Chapter 5: Confusion

A week had passed since Mello's confrontation with Near, and since then the two avoided each other like the plague. And if they were forced to work together, neither of them would speak a word, their gazes averted from each other the whole time.

The change and the tension that surrounded them was obvious to the other orphans, but to the staff, it was just like they always were. No one even seemed to notice the slip Near made into depression.

It seemed that things were just starting to fall back into place, for the most part.

Roger entered into his office at the end of the day, hearing how silent, and how still it was in the room. A golden light filtered in from both windows and made the entire room seem that much more still. Like all the books in the shelves and papers on his desk were frozen in time.

With a small sigh, the old man, worn out from the many years of the countless children at Wammy's causing a ruckus, walked across the room and took a seat at his desk. He began to look through the different files of Children who were applying to Wammy's.

He knew if this job was left to Quillish, he'd admit every kid he could. But that's why Roger was assigned to do it, because he was more critical, and analyzed each one for their qualifications before making a decision.

He had only been analyzing the applications for a few moments before the cell phone sitting on the corner of his desk lit up and began to vibrate. He looked over through his dusty glasses and reached for it, knowing who it was before he put it to his ear.

"Yes, L?" He asked, relaxing back in his high-back chair.

"Hello, Roger. How are things there?" Came L's scrambled voice from the other end.

Roger blinked once, staring up at the ceiling. "Things are fine here, what can I do for you?"

"Yes, well…" L started and just from the sound of his voice Roger could tell it was something serious. "I have a favor to ask of you."

Roger raised one of his eyebrows before replying, "A favor?" He asked. "What kind of favor?"

-

A little bit later Roger was walking down the hall, thinking over what L had asked him to do and what he knew he _had_ to do now. His hands fumbled together nervously. _'Are you sure this is the right decision, L?'_ Roger asked himself.

However, he didn't have enough time to answer it, as he reached his destination and knocked quietly on the door.

"Come in." Came the quiet voice from inside.

Roger stepped into the cold, white room and his eyes instantly fell on Near –seated behind a thick wall of dice he'd built up around himself, on the outside there were robots lined up –ready to attack anyone who tried to intrude.

"Near… I need to talk to you." He said, stepping in and closing the door to give them some privacy. "L contacted me a little bit ago and… he has a request, for you?"

Near sat up a bit, a small look of intrigue on his face. "A request?"

Roger nodded, "Yes. He… requested that the top ranked student here be sent out to where he currently is –to train better in order to succeed him." He paused a moment, but Near didn't say anything in response, so he took the initiative to continue. "Of course, this is only a request. If you feel you would be better suited here, then that is the other option."

Near nodded, "But, in reality, my only option would probably be to go there, and learn from him." And in Near's mind, there was no question about it, he had to go to wherever L was to learn.

Not because he wanted to, but because he needed to get away from Mello, along with all of the pain that came from the blonde's harsh rejection.

-

The next day, Mello was lying on the couch in the common room next to the fire; a chocolate bar in hand. Ever since his encounter with Near, he had trying not to think of the albino.

However, when he would least suspect it, details from the kiss he had forced upon the small boy would suddenly pulse through his head, completely freezing all thoughts he had. He was trying to distract himself with his chocolate bar when Matt walked up to him, and from the look on his face Mello could tell that the redhead had some news.

"What's going on, Matt?" He asked as calmly as he could.

Matt's green eyes were wide with excitement, "Haven't you heard? L's having Near fly to his headquarters in Japan to train with him!"

At these words, the blonde spat the chocolate out –the sweet taste suddenly going sour.

"_What?"_ He practically yelled, "You've got to be fucking shitting me!"

Matt shook his head, "Not only that, but Near gets to assist him on his current case! Lucky bastard…"

Mello blinked a few times, trying to absorb the information the redhead had just given him. "Okay…let me get this straight. L wants to personally train him _and_ let him assist?" The blonde asked, his words dripping in venom.

The gamer nodded, "Mhmm, he's leaving at the end of this week."

"So I only have to deal with one more week of Near!" The blonde smiled, "That's…" The image of his kiss with Near and all the feelings that went with it suddenly flashed through his mind, stopping his words. The warmth of the embrace, the way his lips felt, the way his tongue tasted; he felt it all like it had just happened.

"…great." he said, the excitement draining from his voice.

Matt noticed the blonde's sudden drop in enthusiasm and grew concerned. "What's wrong?"

The blonde shook his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. "Nothing…it's just that Near will be trained _personally_ by L. Why don't _I _get treatment like that? In any case, how did you find out about this?" He asked, trying to cover up his momentary mental lapse.

The redhead raised an eyebrow, "Linda told me. Didn't she tell you too?" He asked, surprised that Linda didn't tell the blonde.

Mello furrowed his eyebrows, "No…she didn't..." He said with annoyance evident in his voice. "I think she's still mad at me for what happened last week...and anyway, how did _she_ find out?" He asked, irritated.

Matt shrugged, "Why don't you go ask her yourself?"

The blonde rolled his eyes, "What? So she can start screaming at me again?" he asked sarcastically.

The redhead returned the eye-roll before replying, "Well, if you don't want to know, then I guess you can just stay here and laze about."

Mello sighed. '_Well…I won't find out by just sitting here now will I?' _He thought as he arose from the couch and turned to his best friend, "I'll be right back."

With those words, he quickly began to walk out of the common room.

Mello grimaced, _'This probably won't go so well…not after what happened last week.'_ He thought, dreading the conversation with Linda.

When the blonde was out of sight, Matt smirked, '_So he __**does**__ care.'_

_-_

Mello pounded on Linda's bedroom door. "Open up, Linda!" he shouted into the door, "I need to talk to you!" The door cracked open and Linda stood in the crack, wearing an annoyed expression. "What do you want, Mello?" She asked coldly.

The blonde sighed, "Look, I'm sorry for my little outburst the other day." He said half-heartedly.

Her eyes narrowed, "Well, sorry isn't going to cut it this time, Mello." She said, irritably.

Mello rolled his eyes, "Look-"

"Forget it, Mello, I'm busy." She said, beginning to shut the door.

However, refusing to give in so easily, Mello pushed hard on the door, forcing it all the way open. "Oh yeah? With what exactly?" He asked in a rude tone.

When he looked up, he saw Near sitting in one of the chairs in the room, facing away from the doorway. The blonde's eyes narrowed, "Oh…I see." He said, infuriated at the sight of the albino in Linda's chair.

Linda was absolutely livid, "Mello! Get _out_!" She shouted, Mello stepped silently out of the room, his face red with fury, as the brunette slammed the door behind him.

-

When Mello walked back into the common room, he found Matt lying in his place on the couch. "So…what's the story?" He asked, scooting over, leaving room for the blonde on the couch.

Mello sat down before answering, "Near was _sitting_ with her in her room." The blonde said bitterly.

The redhead was surprised by the blonde's coldness, "Whoa, jealous much?" He teased.

Mello's eyes widened at the thought. "What? _**No!**_" He yelled; his face turning a shade of crimson.

Matt raised an eyebrow, "Really? Then why are you blushing?" He asked, finding a bit of joy in interrogating the blonde and watching his reactions.

Mello shut his eyes tightly, clenching his teeth. '_Fuck…fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!' _He brought a hand to his temples '_Why am I so bothered that Near was with Linda?' _ He asked himself.

Almost as if to answer his question, his memory of his kiss with Near flashed again before his closed eyes. '_Oh…you have got to be fucking __**kidding**__…' _He thought, seething. _'I'm __**jealous**__? Why? It's not like they're an item…wait…how can I know for sure'_ He argued with himself,_ 'Stop, you're being absolutely ridiculous!' _He scolded himself,

'_Near…and __**Linda**__? Come __**on**__…that's ridiculous…or __**is**__ it?'_ Suddenly an image of Linda and Near embracing crossed his mind. He growled in hatred at the sight before reprimanding himself.

'_What the fuck is __**wrong **__with me? Why am I getting possessive over __**Near**__?' _

"Um…Mello?" Matt gently tapped his best friend's shoulder, interrupting the blonde's argument against himself. "What's wrong?" he asked, noticing Mello's pained expression, "You're beginning to scare me."

The blonde finally opened his mouth, a single scream sounded, "**FUCK!**"

The gamer winced at the blonde's outburst, not expecting the loudness of the cry. When he recovered from his grimace, he saw that the blonde was holding his head in his hands.

When Mello raised his head, angry unshed tears were brimming at his eyes. Matt couldn't recall ever seeing the blonde this distraught over anything –even when he lost to Near. The gamer reached to put a caring arm around his best friend, "Mello, what's-"

His words were cut off by the blonde's hand slapping his arm away. "Look, I'm just really…" Mello's words trailed off into silence as if he wasn't quite sure about whether he wanted to reveal the next words or not.

"Not sure about how you feel about Near?" Matt interjected.

Mello gave him a piercing stare before he slowly nodded.

The redhead nodded, "Ah, I thought that might've been it." He stood up, motioning toward the exit, "Come on, Mels. I'll play you in Super Smash Bros. That always helps me relax." The gamer offered.

Although the blonde knew that the redhead would completely own him at Super Smash Bros., he stood up and followed Matt up to their room.

'_Anything to forget him…' _

_

When they both reached the room, Matt pulled a small white case off of the shelf where he kept a good portion of his games and tossed it to Mello.

The blonde raised an eyebrow at the game, "Super Smash Brothers…_Brawl_?" He asked.

The gamer handed Mello a Wii remote and nunchuck attachment for the game, "Yeah, it's the same as the old Super Smash Brothers, but with new characters, items, and stages and shit. Not to mention: it's on the Wii."

Mello looked at the odd controller and sighed, "Matt?" He asked.

"Hmm?" Matt replied, reaching for his own controller.

"Just how the _hell_ do you expect me to play with _this_ piece of shit?" The blonde asked jokingly.

Matt smirked, "Well, if you can't get the hang of that, I can attach an old GameCube controller."

Mello rolled his eyes, '_Yeah, like __**that**__ would do me any good.' _He thought sarcastically.

About half an hour later, the blonde threw his controller to the ground, having just lost to the redhead. "God fucking _dammit_! I can't believe you just beat me with _Kirby_!" He said, pouting at the fact that he had just lost to the small, pink fluffball.

Matt laughed, "Hey, it's not the character that determines whether you win or not; it's the player."

Mello just rolled his eyes in response as the gamer started the next match.

As Matt chose the next arena for the match, he wondered to himself about why Mello would be upset about Near's meeting with Linda. '_Hmm…so maybe now he __**likes**__ Near?'_ The redhead thought. When he looked at Mello he saw that the blonde seemed calmer than before. '_Okay, I think I can ask him now without risking a trip to the infirmary.'_

"So Mello…" the redhead began.

"Hmm?" he replied, focused on the game.

"What was Near doing in Linda's room?"

"I don't know." Mello replied monotonously, paying more attention to the game than the question.

The redhead removed his goggles and looked directly at the blonde, still wearing the same look of confusion, "Um…Mels?"

"Hmm?" Mello replied, still immersed in the match.

"Aren't you a little…_worried_ about why Near would be _alone_ with _her_?" Matt asked with concern in his voice.

Mello's eyes widened as he heard the gamer's words. "_Oh_…oh my god…" he said, the controller falling to the floor with a dull thud. The image of Near and Linda embracing flashed through his mind again and continued to taunt him until he couldn't take it anymore. "I…I gotta go." He stuttered out as he ran out the door.

When the blonde was well out of the room, Matt laughed to himself. "Well, I guess that solves _that_ little mystery."

-

Meanwhile, up in Linda's room, Linda was still flustered from Mello's rude interruption.

"I'm really sorry about that, Near." The brunette girl said, apologizing for the umpteeth time since it'd happened.

Near tried not to roll his eyes, '_This girl needs to stop repeating herself so much.' _he thought before replying, "As I said before, it wasn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could have done, so please stop apologizing." He said, a miniscule amount of annoyance seeping into his voice.

Linda almost apologized for apologizing too much, but then thought better of it. They sat there in an awkward silence until Linda finally spoke, "So…how are you feeling since your incident with Mello?"

This had been the 21st time that Linda had asked Near all week, and he was getting tired of her asking. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he chose to lie. "I think it was a big misunderstanding. I've moved on since then." He answered; his voice devoid of emotion as always.

At his words, Linda sighed, relieved.

Her sigh didn't go unnoticed by Near. _'So, she actually bought that. This girl is even more dense than I thought.'_ Before he could expand on that thought, Linda had pulled her chair closer to his. _Much_ closer.

"I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit relieved." She said, a blush growing on her cheeks.

"And why exactly is that?" He asked, pretending not to know the reason for her happiness. Linda's blush deepened.

"Well…I…I…" She was silent for a moment, "I really like you, Near." She said, moving ever closer to the albino until their face were inches apart. Near grew stiff, he didn't like having his personal space so enormously violated.

Linda appeared to not notice Near's coldness and closed her eyes, leaning in until her lips grazed the small boys. Near's initial impulse was to shove the brunette away and run out of the room, as he was rather repulsed at Linda's touch, but he knew he wasn't going to get this kind of affection anywhere else…at least not from Mello.

He closed his eyes and tried to imagine that the lips he was feeling belonged to the blonde, just to try to make the experience bearable. As he began to give in to the kiss, he didn't hear the door knob turn and the door creak open.

When Mello saw the two of them connected at the lips, he froze. '_It…it can't be…this can't seriously be happening.' _He stood there for a few seconds, hoping that he would wake up due to the now present pain in his chest and that it'd all be just a nightmare.

When he didn't wake up, he finally chose to speak.

"Just what the _fuck_ is going on here?" He screamed.

The pair immediately separated, Linda's blush a dark shade of crimson now. "What the hell?" Was all Linda managed to squeak before Mello grabbed Near by the collar.

"Just what the fuck are you playing at? Why were you kissing _her_?" He cried, rudely pointing at Linda.

Near's expression and voice remained the same, "You said you didn't like me, so I moved on. In any case…why would you care, Mello? It's obvious you want nothing to do with… what I've told you." He explained; his words still monotonous, but icy at the same time.

As Mello stared back at Near, he noticed that the small boy's eyes were deep, but completely devoid of life, and his skin was a sickly, pale shade of white that resembled that of the dead.

The blonde grimaced inwardly as he wondered to himself, _'What happened to him? He looks like he's a walking corpse…' _Mello shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts,_ 'Why __**do**__ I care? I mean…I __**do**__ hate him…right? Shouldn't I be __**glad **__to see him like this?'_

Before he could ponder how he felt, Linda slapped him hard across his face causing him to drop Near. "You _asshole!_" She screeched, "Get out! _Now! __**OUT**__!" _

Mello flinched at the blow, but didn't respond to Linda. He stepped outside the doorframe and glanced at Near, "We'll talk about this later, Near." He said quietly as Linda slammed the door hard in his face.

He sighed as he turned around and made the walk back to his and Matt's room. _'Do I __**not**__ hate him? Do I actually __**like**__ him?' _Mello put a hand to his aching forehead. _'Okay…say that I __**do**__ like him. What am I going to do __**then**__? I don't think a simple apology would make what I did go away.' _He thought, his headache getting worse. When he felt a spike of pain from the migraine he groaned aloud, "Ugh! What am I going to _do_?"

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A/N: Well! There's the 5th chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! (despite the fact that it was roughly 9 pages long!) Please leave me a review telling me what you thought!


	6. Repercussions

A/N: O_O Well…it's been _**over a fucking **__**year**_ since I've updated this story! *slaps self* I've really gotta get better at _not_ procrastinating! Thanks to Forbiddensoul562 for re-lighting my inspiration, burning my writers' block, and for help on the recap!

Disclaimer: Yes! I own Death Note and its characters! However I also have a flying pet pig, and outside, it's raining money on my front lawn.

Recap: After being offered to work with L, Near accepts the offer to escape bad feelings and embarrassment lingering between him and Mello after being rejected. Shortly after hearing the news of Near's new training, Mello begins to feel a pang of need in him. But need for what? To make matters worse, Mello bursts into Linda's room to find her kissing Near. This leaves him thoroughly upset and confused, as he wonders exactly why their kiss _bothers_ him and why he _doesn't_ want Near to leave Wammy's…

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Chapter 6: Repercussions

Mello stumbled down the hall, his migraine mercilessly hammering his entire skull. He began to slowly make his way toward his shared room, thinking that the comfort of his mattress might ease the pain, when he had a sudden change of mind_. 'I just want to be alone right now.'_ He thought, _'Plus, I don't want to bother Matt with my problems.' _

He instead decided to go downstairs to the common room, where he flopped down on the couch with a sigh. '_I'd prefer the outside, but it's far too cold.' _He thought, '_Plus, this is probably much more comfortable than th__ose__ concrete steps.'_

He took out a chocolate bar and began to unwrap it; but just as he started to take a bite, he could hear the light sound of footsteps coming from around the corner. He looked up to see who it was, and saw that it was Near, the one person that'd been messing with his mind without doing a damn thing.

At the sight of the younger genius, Mello opened his mouth to speak, but found he was momentarily at a loss for words. _'What the hell am I supposed to say to him? I just walked in on him and Linda doing…' _At the thought of the kiss, Mello suddenly found his voice."Near? Why the fuck were you kissing Linda?" He found himself asking rudely.

The small boy in question looked up, startled at the sound of Mello's voice. The only response he gave to the blonde was a piercing glare from his dark eyes before he turned around, having no intention of speaking to him. Mello shuddered inwardly; when the albino's eyes met his, he swore he could feel his insides turn to ice under the glower.

'_Damn. Since when __did_he_get so angry?'_ Mello wondered, _'He's supposed to be the emotionless genius, and not let things like this get to him! What the hell happened to him being rational?__ Showing emotions is not rational to him.__' _Suddenly a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Having more trouble with Near?"

Mello sprang off the couch, his fingers curled into fists; about to break the jaw of whoever the eavesdropper was for intruding, when the figure raised his voice, "Relax, Mels! It's me!"

As the sound suddenly processed as being his redheaded friend, Mello immediately dropped his fists, thankful that it was just Matt and not one of the others, who might use anything they saw as blackmail. "Matt! Don't scare me like that! What the fuck were you doing in the corner anyway? I thought you were in the room! Were you stalking me?"

Matt set down the PSP he had in his hands, "You wish." He joked, "I was wondering where you went. The room got a little boring, so I figured I'd wait for you out here."

"Yeah…but _in the corner,_ Matt?You're a creep." Mello commented.

Matt ignored the insult, "You still haven't answered my question, Mello."

Mello sighed, "Yes, I'm having trouble with Near, Matt. I've been trying to talk to him one-on-one, but all he does is glare at me and go the other way." He said; annoyance laced in his tone.

"That's not like Near…. But, why would he be mad at you?" Matt asked, "Last I checked, he was head-over-heels for you."

Mello glanced over his shoulder before answering, "Well of course he wouldn't be anymore… I kissed him, Matt." Mello whispered, not wanting anyone else to possibly overhear their discussion, "I kissed him and then told him just how much I _hate_ him."

Matt smirked, "About fucking time. Did you slip him the tongue?"

Mello raised an eyebrow at the question, "_What?__!_" He exclaimed, "What the _hell_ does it matter to _you_, Matt? God, you're more of a pervert than I thought."

Matt rolled his eyes, "Just answer the question, Mels."

"I practically _made out_ with him." Mello said, "So what?"

Matt grimaced, "Mels…" He said, his tone grave, "Do you have any idea of just how insulting that must've been to him? Not to mention embarrassing." Matt didn't wait for an answer before continuing, "I mean…picture this: You've put up walls that isolate you from everyone else. For years, you've never had a reason to tear the walls down, until one day, you meet someone. Over time, you develop strong feelings for this person; so strong that you decide to trust him. You lower your barriers, and confess your feelings, trusting that he'll understand; that he won't exploit your secret. He hesitates slightly before he presses his lips to yours. You feel your heart flutter and think just for a moment that he's returning your feelings…until he pulls away and begins to taunt and belittle you. How would you feel?"

Mello thought about it for a minute before he quietly answered, "…Shitty."

Matt raised an eyebrow, "Is that all?" he asked.

Mello shook his head, "No…I'd feel sad, confused, and angry… really fucking upset in general I guess…"

Matt nodded, "And that's why you need to apologize to him for that."

"No fucking _way_, Matt!" Mello snapped at the redhead, "How the hell would I go about apologizing for something like _that_? I mean, we're not even on _speaking _terms, can't you tell! Now that I think about it...do I _really_ give ashit_?_"

"So you still haven't accepted the fact that you like him?" Matt said, half-teasing.

Mello's face turned a deep shade of vermillion at the question. "Wha-?" Mello was about to yell at Matt, when the vision of the kiss flashed across his mind yet again; taunting him with the fact that he had enjoyed it, despite the fact that he only did it to get under Near's skin.

'_What? I do _not _like that fucking know-it-all!' _He thought angrily.

'_Yes you do, idiot.'_ What seemed like the suddenly irrational part of his mind replied.

Mello was stunned; first Matt, and now his _mind_ was turning on him? '_Shut the fuck up! I do not like him!' _He yelled mentally at his opposing thoughts.

'_Yes you do, moron!_'His mind shouted back.

'_Oh yeah? Prove it!' _He retorted.

'_Alright...' _His mind began, '_One: You tease him more than the others do, Two: You're thinking of him almost constantly, Three: you can't stop thinking about the kiss. How good it felt: The closeness, the warmth, the small noises he made, the feeling of your tongue on his…' _

'_Okay! I fucking get it already! But what am I supposed to do n-'_

"Mello!" Matt said, waving his hand in front of the blonde's face, thankfully yanking Mello from his inner dispute. "Good, you're still with me; I was about to check for a pulse." He said with a small laugh. Mello blinked several times, realizing that his eyes hadn't closed at all during the squabble between him and his own thoughts.

Mello spoke quietly; slightly embarrassed, "Sorry, I just...spaced out."

Matt shrugged, "It's fine. Just don't stew in your denial for too long, or you'll miss your chance."

Mello listened to the gamer's words, _'He…he's right. I've been in denial.' _He sighed in defeat, "Okay, Matt…you win…I guess…I do." He said quietly, his face flushing in embarrassment.

Matt nodded "About fucking time!" He said; a small smirk curling his lips. The redhead then stood up, "I'm sure you'll figure something out to tell him, Mels; just be sincere." He said, "Now go, you still have to change his mind before he leaves for Japan."

Mello nodded and walked out of the common room without another word.

'_Well…how hard can this be? I just need to tell him how I feel and how I'm sorry for what I did before. I just hope he'll at least listen to what I have to say instead of just glaring at me.'_ He thought.

'_And why should he?' _The other side of his mind commented, coming back into the conversation, _'You've been an absolute prick. He'll probably just slam the door in your face when you approach him.'_

'_No! No…he has to hear what I have to say…before he leaves!' _Mello thought, panic easing into his thoughts.

Before he could become too overcome by panic, the differing part of his mind cut in._ 'Just go up to him and _show him _how you feel and just how sorry you are, dumbass!' _

'_Alright…I can do this… I _will_ do this.' _He thought, self-assurance replacing slowly the panic. After taking a deep breath, Mello continued on the walk to Near's room with newfound determination and confidence.

When he reached Near's bedroom door, the blonde suddenly felt a chill run down his spine. Okay, maybe he was still a little anxious about the encounter after all.

'_Relax, Mello. Tell him you're sorry, you've been a complete douchebag and that you want to make it up to him somehow.' _He thought, trying to calm himself again before he knocked on the door.

When Near cracked the door open, he gave Mello another icy glare before speaking, "What do you want, Mello?" He asked, scathingly, his tone matching the glare in his eyes perfectly.

Mello sighed, "Look…Near…I've-"

"Save it." Near said, interrupting him. "I have better things to do than listen to your pitiful excuses." He said, beginning to close the door once more.

"Near, wait!" Mello said, slamming his hand on the door in an attempt to keep it open.

He forgot how lightweight Near was and as a result, the door almost crushed the small boy's hand into the wall. Mello would've apologized, but he was too focused on the task at hand to think about what he'd almost done.

He gently gripped the albino by the chin; forcing their eyes to meet. "Look…I'm really sorry." He said; his words full of remorse in an attempt to try and show just how much he meant it. He leaned forward and kissed the smaller boy's lips, gently. He hoped that he could lower the emotional barrier that Near was putting up just long enough to show him how sorry he really was.

After the two disconnected, they stared at each other for over a minute before Near broke the silence. "M-mello?" He said, his voice cracking slightly in confusion, though the look hardly touched his features. Mello saw instantly that the walls around Near had been brought down, and his heart picked up in speed at the notion of possibly getting somewhere with this.

Mello could feel his heart slamming against his ribcage in apprehension of the albino's answer, "Yes, Near?" He responded, his voice shaking slightly in apprehension.

The pale boy sighed, "Please don't assault me like that anymore."

Just as quickly as the walls had come down, Near had raised them once again, and Mello was left right back where he had started, perhaps even a few steps back. With those words, Near separated from Mello and slammed the door shut, sliding the lock in place, leaving the blonde standing in the hallway, stunned.

'_What…what the fuck?'_

_

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_

A/N: *doesn't even bother to block the barrage of tomatoes, cabbages, and other assorted vegetables* Yeah…I haven't updated in _**far**_ too long. I'm not even going to make an excuse this time. I know I've probably lost half of my readers due to my negligence in updates. D= Oh well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please R&R!


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